The Russians have always intrigued me with their unique
weapons and novel killing techniques. If they aren't designing a
new, designer death drug - or testing it on some poor schmuck,
they're cooking up ingenious ways to rule the world - and bizarre
weapons to help them get the job done.
To think, visionaries
at the highest levels of our government had written the Russian Bear
off as tamed - broke or in a forced state of hibernation since
the Cold War. Nyet!
Recent events prove Boris and his vodka loving military pals are most
in retirement - they're on the march - again.
From the ubiquitous,
always reliable Kalashnikov to the KGB's PP-93 stealth submachinegun,
the Russian Navy's APS Underwater Assault Rifle, or the DP-64 grenade
launcher with its underwater depth-charge munition, Comrade Boris is
always looking for fun ways to take out his enemies - when
least expect it.
Take Spetsnaz, Russia's vaunted Special Forces. These crack troops
can drill their enemy a new ear hole without the guy's wife hearing
the shot - while they're making love, no less.
How do they do it?
Lots of practice and all the right tools - like the
AS Val Silenced Assault Rifle in 9x39mm.
This isn't some refurbished AK with a quick-detachable
suppressor and special subsonic ammo.
No, this is the Real McKremlin high-tech silenced
The Val is gas-operated. It comes with an integral
silencer, not some pipe dream afterthought.
And like its integrally silenced 9mm cousin, the VSS
"Vintorez," sniper gun, the Val is deadly.
We have Comrade Serdyukov over at the Central Institute
for Precision Machine Building to thank for the Val and the Vintorez.
Come on, get real! The Institute for Precision Machine Building?
Who do these Commie machinists think they're fooling?
Like Spetsnaz, the boys over at the Internal Affairs
Ministry and the Federal Security Bureau are fond of the Val, too.
Who wouldn't be? This gun's a keeper - a stealthy, suppressed
The Val is manufactured at the Tula Arms Plant. Empty,
it weighs 6 1/2 pounds. With its tubular metal stock folded, it
measures two feet long; with the stock extended, the Val measures 34
It has an effective range of 654 to 984 feet (200 to
300 meters), and it uses the high performance armor defeating 9x39 as
well as the SP-5 Russian ball ammo. Even better, the Val has a 800-
to 900-round-per-minute rate of fire at just 968 feet per second
muzzle velocity using 10- or 20-round detachable box magazines! This
baby doesn't come with a grenade launcher or a bayonet - who
needs 'em - the other guy never even knew you were there. So,
Spetsnaz slips in and out unnoticed, with a trail of corpses stacked
up behind 'em like cord wood. Introducing the AS Val - Soviet
stuff at its best.